Fookin Wae-Aye Mon - Oz style...

MONDAY 15 MAY

So, my first strike out North – but first, a big thanks to Amanda – what a sweetheart – she’d gone to the effort of buying me a little ‘Captain’s going away goody bag’!! Replete with my Bag buddy, some beer ‘condoms’, a thermal coffee mug (yay!), a VB Slab of rock double CD (how cool is this girl?!) and a big bag of mints – waytago! The gift that touched my heart the most was a big tiger stone that Amanda gave me – it’s a beautiful polished stone that is good for men and for travellers – it’s such a touching and thoughtful present – thanks Amanda – I’m very touched – xxx.

So, thus armed with my goodies and all the necessary bits ‘n’ bobs that Neil and Troods were kind enough to spare – The Captain hits the road as far as…..Cove River Park!! I’d left a bit late, so decided to get somewhere local that was near the Pacific Highway and so get an early start in the morning. Have to say that despite this place being pretty smack bang in the centre of Sydney, you wouldn’t know it once you were there – the beauty of National Parks! There are loadsa walking and cycling trails here along the river and so that was the morning exercise taken care of! Just as I’m brewing up a cup of ‘char’, the world’s BIGGEST caravan pulls up. This thing is so big, the guy is towing a new Suzuki Vitara behind it on a towing arm! I mean, this guy must have SERIOUS penis issues. Eiher that or he hates his Wife and needs to have a whole separate house in the van!! She was actually quite chatty, truth be told, so dunno what the issue was. Maybe he was a Government Official newly retired and had to spend all the back-handers….! It was a BFV!! Great when you can make up wild stories about people huh?!

Tonight was also a first for me in that I met my first Possum, up close and personal. This thing was so tame that it came right up to me and, holding onto my trouser leg, stood up on its hind legs – imploring me for food (Honest – I know what ‘Eek-eek-eek’ is in Possum!). Flabbergasted! Didn’t have the camera ready and the bugger was on my leg but it was there – wow.

TUESDAY

Spoke with Andrew Clouting today and he’s about in Sydney having resigned his current shite job. Unfortunately we’d missed each other at the weekend and so we arranged to hook up tomorrow for beers and a watch of the Danny Green vs Anthony Mudine! An all Oz Super-Middleweight bout no less!

WEDNESDAY

Out to meet Andrew in Cronulla – site of the now infamous ‘Lebbo’ bashing and the white ‘reclaim the beaches’ riot…! Phew, heady stuff. Bonus for me was to get a Caravan site for $15….. YUP – FIFTEEN buckaroonies! How cheap is that? Cheap!!
Anyway, Mudine won on points, I won a fiver from Andrew’s mate and got a belly full of ale down my neck – winner!

THURSDAY

This is it folks, my trip to Noo-Cas-Ell man!! Off at a very sedate 11am and a nice little scoot up to Newcastle – staying in Stockton no less – it’s pretty cool to have lived and worked in some of these places in the UK and then go out on the beers in their namesakes in another Country! This is the view from the cockpit over Lake MacQuarie.

Now, for those of ya that don’t know, Stockton is over the river from Newcastle and one catches the passenger ferry either way – the car is driven around via a very impressive bridge, entailing a detour of 46km. (Mental note – DON’T miss the last ferry….!). However, I was shattered after my crazily long 2 hour drive from Cronulla so I decided to take it easy and go to the local boozer, the Boatrower’s Arms, to take advantage of the 20% discount on evening munchies given to me by the Caravan Park – gotta watch those cents now right!!

Newcastle - Fort Scratchley - from the Stockton Bight - wooooo!


There's also a seawall running out from the Stockton headland in order to protect the shipping entering the river mouth. There had been that many shipwrecks, that the wrecks themselves have been incorporated into the seawall - cool huh?!

The abundance of wildlife is really something - this 'cormorant' was actually f'king enormous! Showing of its muscles to the local chix presumably!!


The other (dubious) advantage of living in Hicksville is that there always seems to be stuff on and 'Wouldyabelieveit' – there’s a quiz on that night – so I decide, on a whim, to enter. Team name, ‘Me, myself and I’!! Not my best, but it will suffice and so off we go. Two questions came up:

1] Who is the highest ever RU try scorer of all time?
2] Who is the highest ever RU points scorer of all time?

Oh yes! I got them both – do YOU know who they are? Anyway, apparently only 2 teams got question 1 right and only 1 got number 2, which was of course me…. So I win a Boatrowers Arms Hotel beer ‘condom’!! Imagine the Quiz Master’s disgust when he heard my Pommie accent!! He started to bag the other teams for not getting that and so, thanks to him drawing attention to me, when I next got up to the bar, I was accosted by Sheila (No kidding, this was her name!!) – who was a local and there with her friends. After failing to enrol me into her team, she started trying to tee me up with some of the chix in the bar, before finally deciding I was a ‘good egg’ and promptly ringing her 2 daughters up and telling them they were taking a ‘guest’ out in Newcastle tomorrow night – Waytago!! Ladies can you ever imagine your Mum’s arranging a blind date with me?!! Got quite puddled that night – still not quite sure if that’s due to fear or shock, but there you go!!